Wednesday, October 24, 2007

No mere mortal can resist...


In the spirit of Halloween, I thought maybe I’d blog about things that creep me out. These are going to be pretty random (or seemingly so), but here they go:

Box Elder Bugs. I lived in a house a couple of summers ago that was absolutely infested with them, and I’d regularly wake up in the middle of the night with one crawling on my arm or my cheek or my ear. I used to have a rule about bugs; if they’re on their turf they can live, if they’re on my turf they’re dead. But now, Box Elder bugs are dead wherever I find them. Vengeance will be mine!

The sound of scraping ice. I don’t know why, but this has the same effect on me as nails on a chalkboard. I get goosebumps and my jaw tightens and my shoulders shrug up near my ears and I just want to curl into a ball. So you can imagine how fun it is for me to try and scrape my car windows in the wintertime. I feel like a Tyrannosaurus Rex because my arms don’t want to extend out from my body [enter reference to the movie Meet the Robinsons here.]

Guts. Not blood, just the guts. I can see all the blood in the world, as long as it’s not covering internal tissues. Those videos of operations and scopes going into bodies and what not are just TOO much for me to handle. I almost fainted in 2nd grade when our well-meaning teacher showed us a clip of a heart operation. You know those anti-smoking commercials where they chop the lung in half to show you all the junk that is in there? ACK. I hide my eyes every time.

Bodies of water where I can’t see the bottom. I LOVE playing in the water, but if there is even the slightest possibility of something living swimming around me and potentially taking off one of my legs, then I won’t do it. Clear lakes are fine. Murky, seaweedy ones are not. And in the ocean, while I’ll splash around near the shore, I sure won’t go far.

Hypnotists. I can’t believe people would willingly surrender their free agency to a guy who is often creepy looking and intends to make a fool out of you. That’s not right.

Provo. I’m not lying about this, and I’m sure a lot of it is just in my head, but the handful of times I’ve spent any extended amount of time in Provo I always get the heebie jeebies.

That’s plenty I think. This weekend I’m running a spook alley for my mom’s primary kids and having a gigantic Halloween party, so look forward to pictures from that.

7 comments:

Robin said...

Box Elder bugs are invading the Church Office Building right now. They are smashed all over the carpet and they keep flying in my cubicle. Whenever I see one walking along the top of the cube wall I flick it off but it just gets back on. They are the dumbest bugs because they are not even good at flying. They just wobble everywhere and then they fly right into your face.

garrett said...

I am afraid of lawn gnomes. I swear, they're watching me and they're so CREEPY! Ugh, I'm getting the chills just thinking about them. And while I don't necessarily get the heebie jeebies from Provo, I haven't spent extended periods of time there, so that might be why... Thanks for sharing your scary stuff!

Jentry said...

We are totally creeped out by Provo too! We hate it and go out of our way to avoid it.

Jake said...

Box Elder bugs were bad, but not as bad as the Asian Beetles in Illinois. They look like ladybugs, which make me happy, but then they bite... Evil wolves in sheep's clothing.

Plus, Provo is kinda weird. But I am more scared of big cities.

Anonymous said...

Great list, and Oh, man! I could not agree with you more about Provo. Scary, scary times there. It's like living on the Truman Show, it all seems so normal and cheery, but something's just notttttt quite right about it.

And Jenny concurs about scary underwater things. It was all I could do to get her out snorkeling in Cozumel. She was convinced a barracuda was going to take a chunk out of her leg in mid-snork.

Julie said...

I love this posting Bop! Thanks for the laughs!

Bonny said...

have you ever snorkeled? you CAN see the bottom but there are also creatures swimming around you.