Interaction with Stella, 60-ish yrs old, from South Africa, regular volunteer at the food bank:
"Oh Haley, you cannot believe what happened yesterday."
"I can't? What happened, Stella?"
"Yesterday I made myself so that I should have looked like a spookie!"
"A...spookie?"
"Yes, I was with my daughter and I decided I would make an Asian food, and the spices, I don't know if the spices and my body, but I was itching all over the place!"
"Oh no, that's no good."
"Yes, and so I put the white soda and I put it all over my body. And I said, 'Lord in Heaven, if anyone comes in at this time they will be so afraid of me!"
"I can imagine!"
"Yes, I was like a ghost in the day! Heeheeehee..."
...and away she went to continue sorting food.
*******
A boy with Autism came to me with a jar of organic peanut butter in his hands.
His comment: "This looks over-rated to me."
He meant expired. But I wanted to hug him.
*******
Found in the food-drive tote: Chocolate Body Frosting.
Directions:
1. Light candles.
2. Open jar.
3. Offer paint brush.
4. Announce softly: "Dessert's on me."
Discovered by a group of scouts.
*******
Question about doing court-ordered hours at the food bank:
"Can two people's hours count toward the same offense? Can we, like, split it up?"
In case you wondered, the answer is no.
*******
Gregory is a regular volunteer at the food bank. He is near 60 years old, and is assigned to us through the Easter Seals program, which gives seniors a small amount of money for the service hours they provide. He is missing most of his teeth, and just recently found somewhere to live after having been homeless for several months. But I've always been impressed with how sharp he is.
Today I found out that he has a PhD in Philosophy and is a European-trained Master Chef. The only one in Utah, in fact. I didn't believe him at first, but the more detail he gave the more I knew he wasn't making it up. So I asked him how he came to his current status.
His answer: "My ex-wife raped me in the divorce. Never get married."
7 comments:
Haley, I like the new take on the blog. And the chocolate body frosting - hilarious!
I laughed out loud at the chocolate body frosting comment. I have a funny story about chocolate body frosting and some campers. Remind me to tell you sometime.
That's great! And the blog looks great too.
I think organics are a bit over- rated too. You must be really good at not bursting into laughter by now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! :)
That just made my day.
I love this. The peanut butter thing is hilarious. Can't wait to read more of your funny observations!
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