His recent post cited the book Who Moved My Cheese, which I've never read but about which I've heard quite a bit. I guess in this book the author asks the question, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"
To which my initial response was "Pf. I'm not afraid of anything."
And then I remembered the year that there was a yellow jacket nest outside my apartment door and how I got stung on the same hand three times by these stupid Kamikaze bees that would lie in wait for me on places like my pillow and then when I lay down they'd do their damage and fly away giggling a little waspy giggle to themselves, and how ever since then I've been afraid of bees.
Well, I wouldn't say "afraid" so much as "reluctant around" or "more prone to flail uncontrollably in the presence of".
In truth I'm a big bundle of insecurities. But insecure people make other people uncomfortable, and whether I like it or not I have been hardwired from birth to be overly conscious of other people's comfort and ridiculously accommodating in an effort to minimize any discomfort (which is what happens when you're raised by a man who has been in the hotel business all his life.)
So wah-law, here you have cool and collected Haley. You're welcome. Can I get you a drink?
But just for kicks I'll reveal a few things to you that I'd do if I weren't afraid:
- Cut my hair off. I've always wondered what I'd look like with a chin-length A-line haircut. But the fear that resemble the character Alice from the Dilbert comic strip keeps me from doing it.
- Ride the Skycoaster ride at Lagoon. Actual skydiving is completely out of the question, but I could maybe be coerced into riding this contraption if I could get the idea out of my head that I'd inevitably be featured on the next Fox 13 special When Things Go Wrong - Amusement Parks.
- Get a Master's Degree in Public Administration. I love school, but I am terrified of unnecessary debt.
- Pursue a career in parody songwriting. Someone's gotta take over when Weird Al kicks the bucket, right? I have the knack, but for whatever reason it's more socially acceptable for men to get away with being funny than it is for women. Weird Al is funny, Weird Haley would just be weird.
- Say a good number of things to a good many people in my life that I don't have the courage to say. Don't lose sleep wondering if you're one of them. It's hard to imagine that with the stuff that DOES make it out of my mouth that there's even more that DOESN'T make it, huh?
There's my list. If you decide to fess up some of yours and blog about it, be sure to let me know so I can explore your vulnerable side too.
